Whole Foods Opens in Chinatown

Mike Fong reports from area Chinatown Whole Foods

Following backlash over the opening of Yellow Fever restaurant in its Long Beach, California, 365 store, Whole Foods has decided to open a flagship location in the middle of Chinatown. “We really wanted to do something special for the Asian community,” said Whole Foods’ Director of Social Responsibility. “These people have been eating fried grease their entire lives, and we wanted to show them a healthy alternative.”

Caption: Without any addition of Holy Water, this tasty alternative to prawn crackers is 100% vegan.

The Scallion visited Chinatown Whole Foods and found mixed reactions. According to the store manager, “we’ve been trying to avoid being offensive by not asking whether job applicants spoke English, and now I don’t understand anything anyone says anymore. Mostly I just spend my time trying to figure out why our nationally-popular Whole Foods Oolong Tea isn’t doing quite as well here.”

Local senior citizen Kwok Leung-Hung likes the new Whole Foods. “I can sit here all day and eat the free sample and they don’t kick me out. I also bring Chinese newspaper with me to occupy my time. The manager is very nice. He says ‘ni hao ma’ to me every day. But one time he get really mad. I was finish with reading newspaper and was about to throw it into garbage can. Manager grab my wrist and make me throw newspaper away into other garbage can. So strange.”

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